Dear Mr OtterBox cellular telephone case maker,

Dear Mr OtterBox cellular telephone case maker,

I've been in the phone demolition business long before you came to town. I washed phones, lost phones, and yes even smashed phones (I'm not proud of it). I thought their would be no hope for me when it comes to phones. My longest relationship was with the NOKIA "brick" complete with the snake game, and we only lasted about 6 months. It seemed like re-entering contacts was becoming a part time job. I was hopeless... that was until your promises.

"Ever had nightmares about breaking your precious iPhone?" Yes, Yes I have. Some wake at night at the thought of falling off a cliff, but for me it's a big Nokia phone wearing a band-aid while chasing me. So I think can this case really improve my sleep? "Put those fears to rest by getting your hands on the OtterBox Defender Series for Apple® iPhone®. With our patented case technology, you will sleep easy knowing your phone is safe and sound. (otterbox.com)" So I took your advice and bought the case. I put my fears behind me and rested in your website's assurance. That was until one day last week.....

You had to know that one day someone would put your precious phone case to the ultimate test. It could happen to anyone after a long day right? I'll have you know that leaving your phone on the top of a tow-behind trailer isn't to hard to do, but I'll admit that was my fault. You Mr. OtterBox cellular telephone case maker have to take full responsibility for what happened next.

My precious iPhone was enjoying the wind in it's face, and why wouldn't it after all it was secure within your case and your promises. Things got a little crazy while merging onto the interstate and the phone took a fly. Be it the impact or the cars that would pass that direction something went wrong. I left you two together for 15 minutes.... 15 MINUTES!!! And you let this happen! Oh the nerve. Your just like the others. I leave you with the image of your shame.

May you Rest In Pieces... Mr. OtterBox Cellular Telephone Case (and iphone)

**Note: That this post is strictly for comical purposes and by no means does it reflect my true appreciation for the people at OtterBox. ;)